Stares

Well let’s see. K girl fell through the back of her chair and made a huge blunder. She refused to whisper, sit, or obey. She whined and threw a fit. K boy was fussy, whiny, was dissatisfied by any food or drink (even though it was his lunch time), threw everything he could get his hands on, and eventually moved to a full-out cry. She tells me to shut up. Children sitting near us with their families are sitting oh so quietly. No snacks. No toys. No fuss. Sitting. Not laying. Not squirming. SITTING! You could hear a pin drop. If I weren’t there.

Stares.

My strap to my dress broke. I escape to the bathroom to rig it to last a few more minutes. Everything in my big "mama bag" was dumped out by a little K boy. I frantically try to collect all of my things. He wants food, he doesn’t want the food. Throws it. Angry. K girl wants to dance in the aisles. Speaking in one volume: loud. Couldn’t hear anything being said. Nothing. She’s being disrespectful and sassy. Out of control. 

More stares. Sympathetic stares. Annoyed stares. Judgmental stares.

Of course I take my children out in the hall to try and not disrupt others who have the luxury of listening. And of course it is not a fun time in the hall way. Quite the contrary. It is time to chill out. We sit. Or shall I say I make them sit? To realize it is never fun to be outside of the chapel. It is a privilege to be in the chapel. It was all a fight. No, no. A nightmare.

I take my fussy children out to the car and stand there ready to burst into tears but trying to remain composed. Call Shannon at work for some moral support. No answer. I decide that I would stay and take Keshlyn to nursery cause she could use some extra churchin'. I spent the last 2 hours of church in the hall with a fussy, whiney, baby. Fun. Cries the whole time.  Doesn’t feel well. I feel sorry for him. But to be honest, I feel more sorry for me. Breaking point. It’s all pointless. Or so it seemed on these 2 past Sundays which I have just described. 

I complain a lot. I know it. It's not a good thing, but somehow I feel like I have some legitimate things to complain about sometimes. :) Like the rationalization?

At least my kids do cute things too...it's just that sometimes it doesn't seem to cover up the negative. Luckily sometimes it does. 

Kyden is saying, "hi," "momma," "dada," "yeah," "thank you," "eat, " "banana," He signs eat, please, thank you, mom, dad, bath, hat, milk. He mimics every sound you make. Adores cars and making them go "vroom." Loves animals and making their sounds. Smiles constantly. Is squishy and handsome. 

Keshlyn is writing pretty well. Getting better at reading. Composing lots of song lyrics! :) Dances like a crazy person. Loves to read story books with me. Says "Mom, I'll take care of it" when Ky is doing something naughty. Is a great big sister. Very helpful. Loves shoes. And makeup. And cooking. She makes me laugh a lot too. (When she's not making me weep as I pull my hair out). The other day she asked when the baby was going to come out. She then said, "If it's a girl, her name should be Shamequa." Seriously!?