Dear Journal: And I Thought I Loved Him Then

Hope everyone enjoyed the Week of Love!!!! I know I did. Valentine's Day is a funny thing. I've had several conversations with different people about this day. Many think it's dumb and pointless. And some boycott it altogether. I will admit that some have grand expectations for the day that sometimes leaves them with disappointment. I agree with many that Valentine's Day is kind of a silly day to officially declare a holiday and the commercialization of Valentine's Day has caused women to have unrealistic expectations of what their significant other should do for them. Some dislike the holiday because they don't want to receive something just because their spouse feels like he/she has to. It's unthoughtful to just send flowers because it's what is "supposed" to be done. I agree. Some say that observing this holiday is not going to save a marriage just by doing something nice once a year for their better half. True. But, what's wrong with celebrating those you love? I enjoy celebrating anything! And I certainly love celebrating my love and happiness for my husband. So, I say, I think it's a great reminder early in the year to take some time to think about the one you love and to express your feelings whether it's through a gift or through your actions and words. I say, "can it hurt to take more time to be thoughtful about your marriage?" No way!

The history of Valentine's Day is quite interesting! "One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death..According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first "valentine" greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl--possibly his jailor's daughter--who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed "From your Valentine," an expression that is still in use today. others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival... The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat's hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes." (For the article in its entirety, click here.)

Does it surprise you that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines!? HAHA

Well, to all you Valentine haters out there...If you're already a very consistently thoughtful spouse, then I'm sorry you aren't inclined to take an extra opportunity to express your gratitude and affection for your love. And if you struggle in the "thoughtfulness" department, now is a great time to try a little harder! A little thoughtfulness goes a long way. That's what keeps marriages fresh and fun. Shannon and I are living proof of that...

I love this photo from Kandylane Photography (kandylanephotos.com). It's silly and it truly captures how we feel for each other. Crazy in love!

We started our Valentine's Day with these: Red Velvet Pancakes with berries and chocolate sauce!

Shannon presented these to me: They were gorgeous and fragrant hot pink roses!

When Shannon walked through the door that morning, I met him in the garage with a hug as usual and there was a little gift bag on the door with some Hershey hugs for him and some new chap stick that informed him they were for kissable lips and that now he needed to make out with me! haha. Have you tried the new Blistex Raspberry Lemonade? You should. It makes for yummy kisses! :) Then when he opened the door there was a trail of Hershey kisses and rose petals leading through the house, up the stairs, and into the bedroom. There he found a Can O' Dates for both of our use (for more details click here), a love coupon, and this sign:

(click here for this awesome site where I get a lot of my ideas)

Then, because I jacked Shannon's phone a couple days before to program in several "alerts" in his calendar, there was a reminder that popped up every hour from 10:30- 5:30 telling him to check in different areas of our house. In the different places I had hid the cards above with memories of us on them: the "ABC's of us" (idea from here) I left 3 blank for him to write down a few memories of us too and I will combine them altogether and put them in our memory box so that years down the road we can re-read them and laugh. Most of the memories were silly/fun ones.

For example: "C" said: "Care Bear Cups. Remember when you surprised me (while we were engaged) with a picnic. You even got some "bubbly" cider and care bear cups bc you knew I loved them. Too bad our cider slipped, dropped on the ground and broke!"

or

"L" said: "Lingerie: Remember one time I came home from school and I caught you lighting a candle in some jean lingerie contraption where the back pockets hung over your butt cheeks but the rest of the jeans were missing? I was relieved to find that this was all a joke for me and not some weird thing you do alon. Phew."

or

"P" said: "Phone Messages: I will always remember the voicemails you would leave me on my phone when I was at Murray. Once you sang, "good morning Beautiful." I never erased it. Then, you would frequently tell our story on a message. Like, "You remember when this returned missionary fell in love with this southern gall?..." When I'd answer the phone, you'd always say, "Can I talk to the prettiest gal in Kentucky, please?!"

It was so fun for me to write these down and reminisce of so many fun times. Shannon thought it was fun to read through them and he got a kick out of it. Keshlyn enjoyed helping hide the cards around the house.

Later that evening, Shannon took me to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory where we shared one of our favorite meals and then we shared some Banana Creme Cheesecake. Then, he took me bowling! It was so fun. The first bowl for me I knocked down 9 and got the spare. I thought I was gonna be on fire, but every turn after that I blew! HAHAHA... Shannon bowled 136 and me...a BIG OL' 41!!!!!!! This 4 year old boy next to me bowled a 50! I got beat by a 4 year old. In my defense though, he got to use the bumpers! :)

We spontaneously decided to go to one more place before we went back home but I'll leave that unsaid and the rest of the night was wonderful. That's all I'll say about that! This is a PG site people! haha.

In honor of the blessing of my wonderful marriage, I wanted to share excerpts from my journal. Shannon has never even read this. If you don't keep a regular journal, I encourage you to start. I can't express how special and dear it is to me to be able to go back 7 years ago and read about mine and Shannon's first valentine's day and the feelings that I had. As I read through my entries, my heart is overwhelmed at the realization of my blessings and the words of Brad Paisley's song rushed through my head: "We'll look back someday at this moment that we're in and I'll look at you and say, "I thought I loved you then..." Tonight, I dedicate this song to you babe:

February 15, 2005.

"Dear Journal,

Oh my goodness! I have sooooo much to tell! So, I was in the best mood ever on the day of picking up Shannon at the airport. He lights up my life. Just the presence of him makes me shine. It's amazing what he does to me. It's amazing how love brings out the best in a person. So I drove o Nashville on Thursday after class and didn't have much trouble finding the airport and I anxiously waited Shannon's arrival. I was so excited I couldn't stand it! I right away noticed his legs when he was coming down the escalator and then slowly his gorgeous face was revealed. He turned the opposite direction of me and then I yelled, Shannon" and he automatically turned his head and I ran over to him and he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him and he kissed me. Time stood still. I am so much in love. Even more now than before. After leaving the airport we went to grab a bite to eat. We then went to walk around the Opryland Hotel which all of my friends told me was awesome. As we were leaving the hotel and roaming around outside around the pretty scenery, we just embraced and swayed as though we were slow dancing. It was awesome.Even though it was freezing cold outside, I had never been more warm inside and out. He pulled me onto a bench with him cradling me and he told me that he had no words to describe how much he loves me. And he also asked me, "so remind me again how I am so lucky to deserve a gal such as yourself?" I don't understand this question because it is me that does not deserve him! We then giggled and held each other and then he pulled me up from the bench and kissed some more and then he went on to say how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and then knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him for eternity! I cried and was so choked up I didn't even look at the ring. While he was trying to put the ring on my finger (the wrong one too haha) I was trying to pull him up to hug hi and kiss him. It wasn't until he asked me did he do alright with the ring that I looked at it. It was beautiful! I was so impressed that he picked it out himself with no help... After this we walked back to the car where he showered me with gifts for Valentine's Day as though he hadn't already done enough! (NOTE: This was the "officially official proposal with a ring. If you're new to my story, read the journal excerpts here for the unofficially official proposal) ...

...we headed back to Mammy's where we were staying. We stayed up quite late cuddling. On Saturday night (while we may or may not have been kissing :) I heard something, I stopped and said, "do you hear that? It's raining." He looked at me and grinned and said, "let's go." He got up and jerked me up and then walked twards the door...he walked outside and said, "come one!" I yelled back that I was putting on my shoes and he yells back, "no shoes!" So I hurried after him and then he picked me up in the cold rain, spun me around and kissed me. He is such a sweet and romantic person. It was 3 AM and all that was going on it in the world was the rain and us. I told him that I has always wanted to kiss in the rain. We were soaked.

( Shannon had flown home to Vegas as I wrote this last part. )

I don't know what I would do without Shannon.
Shannon and I are going to read the scriptures together tonight over the phone. I can't believe I beat him with the shower deal! (we would often get off of the phone to race and shower and then call each other back. Apparently I was much faster this night!)

Hopelessly in love with Shannon.

Love,

Keshia"